Loving You

Sometimes it's hard to believe that people can love as deeply as we do. We take our hearts and hold them out to another person, trusting that they're not going to throw it away or drop it, and that takes a lot of faith. However, women and men love differently. As a woman, I'm going to shed some light on our perspective of love*.

When we fall in love, it is literally falling. Often we can't catch ourselves, and we end up deeper in love than we thought we would be. In falling so far, we invest our whole selves, sometimes our whole souls. We become "gluttons for punishment," as the saying from Charley goes. And we really do. We'll do practically anything for the man we love, and all we can do is hope that they respond in full. Oftentimes, however, they don't. From my experience, men tend to be more practical; not always, but oftentimes they will put off the girl for something else that needs to be done. Usually it's a good reason, but when she is willing to give up anything for you, it can hurt. Sometimes she'll be angry with you, but usually she is just sad until she can see you again.

When we are in love, we are in love. As in, that's all we think about. And talk about. And often dream about. Every little thing their man does is dissected and inspected and analyzed (especially if she's not sure the feelings are mutual). Then she tells her friends about it to see what they think. She wants to know if what he does means anything. From what most men have told me, it doesn't mean something nearly as often as she thinks it does. But then she agonizes over everything: Should I say this? Should I text him? Am I being too forward? Am I being too shy? The questions never end, and so she never really stops thinking about them. Everything around us reminds us of our love. A song, a place, a word; they all remind us why we love them, and bring our butterflies back to our stomachs again.

Women cry about men more than men might think. Something simple as a forgotten date or an interrupted conversation can cause tears if she's deep enough in love (or hormonal, but that's another story). Most of the time when she cries about a man, she isn't angry with him, but loves him so much that she can't hold back the tears when she feels like her love isn't reciprocated in full. She'll cry when she feels like she's working harder than him, when she feels like she's failed him, when she worries he doesn't love her. Women cry: It's a fact, and loving a man can bring about the tears more often.

Men, be sensitive to the way women love. We love deeply, and so want to be loved deeply back. Culture has taught us that men are supposed to make the first move, but you move too slow. Usually by the time the move is made we've been hoping for it for weeks. We want little surprises to show that you remember us. It can be something as simple as a text that asks how a certain event went or a surprise visit just to say hello, or it can be something as big as taking her on a drive and kissing her in a romantic spot. Honestly, we just want you to think about us as much as we think about you, and little personalized surprises show that you do. Also, show her and tell her you love her. And don't wait. If you are 85% sure she loves you and you love her too, then tell her. 98% of the time you are 100% right. Don't make her a glutton for punishment. Make her smile as she sleeps instead of cry. Make it your goal to never make her cry. Odds are you won't succeed, but try. She'll notice and appreciate it. 

Everyone loves differently. Women know that men love in their own way, and we will try to learn their ways, but sometimes it's nice to be loved how you know how to love, because then you know it's love.

* This is from a limited perspective. Not all women will agree with this, but it's still a good insight.